..listen to these words, read my thoughts..

Thursday, July 20, 2006

ok.. 1 project down 4 to go.. company law, business report writing, & international business. after that, the final exams... i really just want to get everything done so i can get on with life. its been quite a while since i could idle away and rest at home.. i broke down on monday. as in a serious breakdown. i couldn't help it. the stress just kept piling on and on till i couldn't take it anymore. instinctively, i picked up the phone and called ian. i confided in him. i remembered telling him how tired i was, how everyone depended on me to do everything, how i didn't think i could cope with it all. he told me everything will be ok. i just had to hold on and be strong. now is not the time to break down and cry. ironically, that was exactly what i was doing. of course, he knew exactly what to do..

he came over and made me laugh. well, he tried to anyway. i was sitting on my bed mugging on one of my projects over my laptop. then he came in. he played this funny song and did this bizarre dance. it was so ridiculously cute and funny, i laughed.. i laughed and laughed and laughed........................ till i fell over expecting my head to land on my pillow.......................................... but there was no pillow. i forgot that i had already put it aside and that there wasn't anything covering the metal bed frame................................................ so naturally.................................................................................... i bumped my head on the metal bedframe.. let me emphasize this again. it was a metal bed frame.. and my head hurt like hell. in fact it still hurts till now. i can still feel the bump on it. i think its a bruise but it can't be seen. i didn't know whether to laugh or cry when it happened. it was sort of in between. he laughed too.. very funny huh...

oh well... that was that.. tomorrow is another day. have to go back to school to finish up company law project. then off to the beach saturday morning for some rest and relaxation. catch a movie after that. then on sunday, settle some chores at home.. and there goes another weekend.....

~the butterfly S C R E A M E D~
11:52 PM

Saturday, July 15, 2006

arrrrgh!!!! to heel with this f**king crap. who the heck gives a damn about the freaking stock market anway. bonds, futures, forex oh god i hate this shit.... i need a break. i've fussing over this thing for the past week. its the project for my international finance module. due on monday 1pm. i think its just a waste of my time. i honestly don't understand all the financial jargon. ohhhhh.......... *sigh*.............. how can i get through this?

i need ian. haven't seen him for 2 days. not sure how, when and where we can meet. with his schedule its tough. he went to pick up his laptop today from courts suntec. they didn't even bother to help him set up the thing. bad service. i wanted to go with him but i couldn't. mum went to jb this morning wih her friends to shop. i had to stay home to watch my brothers. couldn't even meet my friends for lunch. now she's back so i'm going out. gonna hang with zy and the girls.... my brain needs some fresh air otherwise its gonna get fried to a crisp.... ciao......

~the butterfly S C R E A M E D~
4:50 PM

Thursday, July 13, 2006

good and not so good news. ian moved out. its good in a way coz he really should spend more time back at his place, with his family. its weird coz when i told my girlfriend anna that he went home, the first thing she asked me was "why? u guys fight is it?"... no we didn't have an argument. but it was strange coz ian told his brother too. and he said the same thing. it shows how close we are in front of other people's eyes. i didn't realize people noticed that about us. anyway, its good that he's going back home. he gets to spend more time with his mum and dad and all.. to be on good terms with them again. so that by the time our wedding date comes, it'll be easier coz they'll help him out. we've been talking a lot about our future. making plans... we're really getting our act together to make it work. hopefully it all goes smoothly.. on the downside, i won't get to see him as often. but i'm sure its all good. i'll still miss him. he is my inspiration. and my inspiration just moved out....

serene's back in good old sg. looking forward to hanging out, having lunch, dinner or whatever with her and the rest of the girls. but this week is not so good coz of all the project deadlines and icas that i've got. its a nightmare.. it truly is.. i've had my share of shopping this month. i feel truly blessed. i'm grateful to my dad for buying me this laptop. its the one thing i need. i know it costs a lot dad but somehow, i'll give it all back.. thanx so much.. its late. i'm sleepy. *yawn*.... nite everyone....

~the butterfly S C R E A M E D~
12:51 AM