..listen to these words, read my thoughts..

Sunday, March 19, 2006

i'm so sorry... i didn't mean all those horrible things i said.. this is for you...

baby i'm in love with you
this ain't the honeymoon
past the infatuation phase
right in the thick of love
at times we get sick of love
it seems like we argue everyday..

i know i misbehaved
and you made your mistakes
and we both still got room left to grow
and though love sometimes hurts
i still put you first
and we'll make this thing work
but i think we should take it slow...

we're just ordinary people
we don't know which way to go
coz we're ordinary people
maybe we should take it slow
take it slow...
this time we'll take it slow
take it slow...
this time we'll take it slow

this ain't a movie no
no fairytale conclusion ya'll
it gets more confusing everyday
sometimes its heaven sent
then we head back to hell again
we kiss then make up on the way..

i hang up you call
we rise and we fall
and we feel like just walking away
as our love advances
we take second chances
though its not a fantasy
i still want you to stay..

we're just ordinary people
we don't know which way to go
coz we're ordinary people
maybe we should take it slow
take it slow...
this time we'll take it slow
take it slow...
this time we'll take it slow

maybe we'll live and learn
maybe we'll crash and burn
maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave
maybe you'll return
maybe another fight
maybe we won't survive
but maybe we'll grow
we never know baby you and i...

~the butterfly S C R E A M E D~
11:13 PM

Friday, March 17, 2006

i don't understand why he's like that. controlling and confining me. so what's the big deal if i talk to my male colleagues or msg them or eat lunch with them? is that so wrong? i don't say anything when his phone suddenly filled up with his female friends' numbers or if his female friends call him up in the middle of the night or in the wee hours of the morning or if he sends them to work or gives them a lift from work or go out with them or have meals with them....... you see what i'm trying to say?

all i ask is that he give me just a little bit of trust so that i can make new friends and keep them without him breathing down my neck and watching my every move. as the saying goes, trust has to be earned not given... oh come on!!! we've been together more than four years.. you mean to tell me that after four years i still don't deserve his trust?! that's ridiculous!!!

i want my life back. i want to be "me" again instead of "his girl". i've put up with it for too long and i'm sick and tired of it. he said this once to me before so i'm echoing his words now.... "i've had enough of you..."

~the butterfly S C R E A M E D~
1:58 PM

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

hellooo.. i'm still here. still alive in case u all wondering why i've been quiet lately. so the birthday thing didn't really go as planned. nadia didn't show up (went out with her other friends), me and zy were planning so hard to get everything together but some people didn't cooperate. to cut a long story short, we went to the beach and then had dinner (the birthday boys paid which resulted in ian being broke coz some other people didn't pay). i also turned dead broke coz i spent every last cent i had on a pair of shoes for ian's birthday present. hey they were good shoes ok.. nike air max strip red and silver. it was all worth it once i saw the look on his face when i surprised him with it.

all i wanted to do was to make him happy. maybe i tried too hard coz i must have asked him like 10 times if he was happy on his birthday. ironically, all his friends bought him sports goods as well. a bag & t-shirt from nike, sweater from adidas, water bottle from sigg... plus my shoes, he could be a spokesperson for nike.. now i'm starting to call him 'sponsored by nike'. the funniest present he got if you can believe it........ a g-string with a bird to cover the *toot*!!!!!! kinda looks like a puppet... hahaha!!!! get the idea....

so anyway, i juz got my cheque for half the month so i'm looking forward to some serious shopping... better go make my shopping list now...

~the butterfly S C R E A M E D~
9:00 PM