..listen to these words, read my thoughts..

Friday, December 30, 2005

do you ever get the feeling that out of the blue, for no reason at all, you're suddenly thinking about the most unlikely person to ever cross your mind? i believe that dreams (and even nightmares) happen when your soul crosses gets caught up in your mind, intertwined with your thoughts and memories and feelings. more often than not, dreams and nightmares never make any sense. there's always an element of mystery and impossibility about it. you can never remember every single detail but the main focus is always there. sometimes it feels so real that you don't even know you're dreaming.

i had a dream last night. it was very strange but damn good. the surroundings were calm, peaceful and serene. white sandy beach, clear blue-green waters, exotic villa, wind in my hair. ian was in it. i know what you're thinking. how romantic rite? the shocking part was that james (ian's old friend) was in it too. it truly was a slice of heaven if not for what happened next. i can't remember much about what happened in between. i do remember that ian was in a room in the villa and james brought me out to swim in the ocean. i didn't even feel like i was actually swimming. it felt more like as if he was a dolphin and i held onto his fin. he was really taking me far out into the ocean and i remembered sharks in our midst. and just like that, he brought me back to shore and back to the villa. i was falling asleep to the sound of the waves crashing and the wind...

then ian was by my side and we were cuddling. then he said "do you want to marry me?". i replied "yeah, of course." and he swept me off my feet, carried me into another room where james was dozing off on a canopy bed. "hey man, mama five's gonna marry me." was what he said. this is the weird part. 'mama five'!? was that supposed to be me? doesn't make any sense rite? a lazy smile crept onto james's face and he left the room. i was rudely awakened by the sound of a phone ringing and my dream faded away into the abyss.

like i mentioned earlier, dreams never made any sense. i never believe what some people say about dreams. you know, the usual rubbish like the opposite of what you dream will happen in real life or whatever you dream will come true in the near future. dreams are just a way for you to escape from reality for a night. in my 18 years in this world, none of my dreams have ever come true. i definitely don't expect it to...

~the butterfly S C R E A M E D~
2:40 PM